Kiritsu's Snippets
by Kudostalker
Summary: I blame this on plot bunnies. They bite and don't let go until I write what they're giving me. Contains both Detective Conan and Magic Kaito characters. Rated for language.
1. Sad Plunny

I'm typing these as I wrote them out because there was this _really_ big plunny holding a big plot stick to beat me with if I didn't write and type it up exactly as they said to...  
So any bad fanfic writing is blamed on the plunnies. They wouldn't let me edit.  
(Yes, Plunny, I know you want things your way. I just think that I could...nevermind, it's going to be your way. \eyes Plot Stick warily\)

Should anyone get ideas for their own fics from any of these, take off with it. Just let me know if you're going to use one of my plunny-fics in a fic. I'd like to get credit for what you take, and would like to see the fic you put it in.

Thanks!

Shinichi: Why do I have to do the disclaimer?

Kiritsu: Because we all know you'll actually mean it. And you lost the coin toss to Saguru-kun _and_ Heiji-kun. And we have to have one of you detectives do it because nobody will believe Kaito-kun.

Shinichi: Kiritsu-neechan doesn't own Detective Conan or Magic Kaito. She just borrows us.

Kiritsu: See, that wasn't that hard. \dodges soccer ball aimed at her head\

Kaito: Hey, I don't mind being borrowed...as long as I get returned.

Kiritsu: I'll return you. ...eventually...

\Kaito gets wary look\

Kaito: I think I'll be going now...Ehhhh?! Where did these handcuffs come from?

Kiritsu: \snickers while dangling the keys to the handcuffs\

Kaito: \grumbles choice words learned from Nakamori-keibu during heists while picking the locks to the handcuffs\

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_XXX_  
I _know_ this one got some ideas from another fic I read...I just don't know which one, or I'd give credit.  
_XXX_

"Moshi moshi."

"Shinichi?"

"Agasa-hakase? What's up?"

"\sigh\ I have some bad knews, Shinichi. Ai was hit by a car on her way back from the store. The driver was drunk, and it is believed that she died when she was hit"

"Ai...is dead?"

"I will continue working on the antidote, but it will be slower without her."

"Don't bother."

"What?"

"It's hightly unlikely we'll find the antidote without her. Kudo Shinichi will die, and Edogawa Conan will stay."

"If you're sure."

"I am. Oh, Ran's coming. Bye, Hakase."

"Goodbye, Shinichi"

\click\

"Conan-kun? Who was that?"

"Agasa-hakase. He was calling to tell me-tell me that Ai-chan died."

"What?"

"She was hit by a car."

"Oh, Conan-kun..."

\that night\ (see also: plunny didn't tell me what happened in between)

"Moshi moshi."

"Ran?"

"Shinichi!"

"Agasa-Hakase called and told me what happened. Is Conan ok?"

"As well as he can, after his friend died. Are you going to be coming back now?"

"I...Ran, I won't be coming back."

"What! Why-"

"Please, Ran, listen. You remember when I ran off at Tropical Land? I saw one of the guys in black from the rollercoaster blackmailing someone. His friend snuck up on me and I was knocked out. They fed me some kind of poison. As far as they know, I'm dead. I barely survived, and it's still in my system. My 'case' is trying to bring these guys down, while others with me search for a cure. The few times you've seen me were when we thought we'd found the cure. They were all only temporary. I left whenever the pain started to come back because I didn't want you to see me like that."

"You-you're not-"

"I'm dying, Ran. I've been told it won't be much longer, now. They gave me one last temporary cure so that I could call you and not be in pain."

"Shinichi..."

"\real-sounding-but-fake gasp of pain\ Damnit, looks like it's wearing off. I never got to say this before, something always seemed to come up whenever I tried... Ran, I love you."

"I love you too, Shinichi."

"Aaah!"

"Shinichi!"

"... I wish I could be there, Ran. I'm sorry."

"It's ok. I love you."

"I love you too. Goodbye."

"Bye..."

\click\

"Oi, Kudo!"

"Kudo is dead."

"Eh? You're right there."

"Ai-chan is dead. Shinichi-niisan is dying. Ran-neechan is crying 'cause he told her. Me...I'm Edogawa Conan."

"Haibara died?"

"And with her, any true hope for a cure. Go away, Hattori."

_XXX  
_I really hate sad plunnies. They make me write things like this that make me want to cry while I write them. Maybe I should grab my bat and see if I can keep the plunnies at bay with that...  
_XXX_


	2. Koizumi is scaaaaaaaaary

Hakuba: As it is my turn, I'll do the disclaimer. The characters used in this story do not belong to the author.

Kaito: Hah! I have escaped the handcuffs, straightjacket, chains, padded cell, jail cell, and electric field! Now I'll get you back for all of that!

Kiritsu: Just make sure you keep an eye out for the trap doors.

Kaito: What trap-aaaahhhh!!!!

Kiritsu: Those trap doors.

Hakuba: That wasn't there before.

Kiritsu: Nooooo...I just didn't activate it before. I think I'll be safe for a while, that one leads to the chocolate room.

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

Saguru: Kuroba?

Kaito: Yes?

Saguru: Why is Koizumi looking at me and cackling?

Kaito: . . .

Saguru: Kuroba?

Kaito: ... You don't want to know, Hakuba. You _really don't_ want to know.

_XXX  
_Plunny couldn't tell me much about why she was cackling. Just that she was plotting something and that it was definitely _not_ anything good.  
_XXX_


	3. The Heist Note

Heiji: Whadda ya mean it's my turn to do the disclaimer?  
Kiritsu: I can't let Kaito do it. Nobody would believe him. Nakamori-keibu would, but he's preparing for tonight's Kid heist. Shinichi and Saguru both did one. Now it's your turn.  
Heiji: Allright. She owns nothing. Except the idea. She thinks.  
Conan: Heiji?  
Heiji: Yes?  
Conan: Start running.  
Heiji: Why?  
/almost gets whacked in the head by Kiritsu/  
Conan: _That_ is why.  
Heiji: O.o /starts running/

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

So Kaitou Kid has sent out a note.  
Nakamori-keibu and Hakuba-kun are looking at it.  
Nakamori-keibu is confused and wondering why Kid sent a note in English.  
Hakuba-kun is confused as all his information pointed to Kid being better at English than this.

The note is sitting on a desk between them.

All your jewels are belong to us.  
Kaitou Kid (insert caricature drawing that FFN won't allow)

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I couldn't help it. I went to finally figure out what was up with 'All your base are belong to us' and once I did this plunny came out of nowhere and wouldn't go away until I wrote it down. /whimpers/  
Hey...maybe this note is because of all the chocolate Kaito ate when I sent him down the trapdoor to the chocolate room last chapter in the disclaimer...

_**Kiritsu**_


	4. Bloopers

Nakmori-keibu: She owns nothing, and is doing this for entertainment. Can I go now?

Kiritsu: Kid went that way. /points/

Keibu-san runs off. Kid comes out from behind...something in the background.

Kid: Thanks, Kiri-san!

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

DC 1

The poison, instead of shrinking Shinichi, causes him to age about 50 years.

"WTF?!"

_XXX_

DC 2

Agasa-hakase: Let's add these…

*BOOM!*

House gone.

Ai, next door: I told him it was a bad idea.

_XXX_

DC 3

Gin or Vodka just shoot Shinichi instead of poisoning him.

Whichever didn't shoot him: Damnit, [Whichever one did], now you just destroyed the entire series!

_XXX_

MK 1

Kid's body disappears.

Nakamori-keibu: OMGWTFBBQ?!

_XXX_

MK 2

Kaito flips Aoko's skirt.

Kaito: *stops dead* O.O

Hakuba: Kuroba?

Kaito: Sh-eh-h-…O.O

Aoko: *deeper voice* That's why you aren't supposed to do that!

_XXX__XXX_

For those who didn't figure it out, in that last one Kaito found out that Aoko has guy bits.

Ok, about the 'something in the background' bit at the beginning...I can't really think of anything right now and want to get this up before I forget. Like I have with all the other little bits I still need to type up to put in here. I'm only remembering to do it with these 'cause they're the most recent ones I've written.

Also, I did bloopers for other fandoms at the same time as I did these. I'm being lazy and not putting them up on FFN, 'cause I'd have to create a new fic for each fandom. So, take out the = and go to http=://nyxzyth21.=freehostia.=com/, click on "Fanfiction", and then on "Snippets from Anywhere". Everything from Kiritsu's Snippets will be in there, along with my bloopers from the other fandoms, and some things that were previously only in my...well, it's either in my livejournal, my insanejournal, or both, I'm not quite sure. Anyway, all of this will be found there. I will be adding my other fics as time and my memory allow.

Thanks for reading!

_**Kiritsu**_


	5. The Kid Ficcage

Today's Ficcage involves Kaitou Kid.

A lot.

As in, so much that this fic would Fail without him.

...maybe even an EPIC FAIL.

But he didn't want to (he doesn't like me getting involved in his heists), so there may have been some bribes.

Shiny gems, chocolate, and a crate full of Cadbury Creme Eggs may have been involved so that he would allow me to insert myself into his heist in any way.

...anyway...

I need to get moving, I have somewhere else to be right now.

On to the Fic!

.

.

.

.

.

...forgot this:

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Magic Kaitou. Things like this would happen if I did.**

.

Now that _that_ is over with, on to the fic!

.

.

(For real this time!)

_._

_._

_._

_._

_Dear Reader-san,_

_After taking the bribes, I decided that I still did not want to do the fic that Authoress-san had planned.__  
I would have to cancel a heist and pranks to mess with Keibu-san, Tantei-san, and Tantei-kun's heads.  
Why would I do ficcage when they're so much more entertaining?  
I'll come back and do the other ficcage that Authoress-san has when she posts it._

_Ja!_

_Kaitou Kid_

_P.S. Before I forget, APRIL FOOLS! Forget about looking over your shoulder and start pinching faces - I could be anyone!  
_

.

.

.

...yeah, those periods? It's because no matter how I did it, it got rid of my extra lines between things. No idea why, but this should space it all out like I want it to.

Just for the record, I blame Kid for this. Except for the part about the Cadbury Creme Eggs. _That_ is because of one of Icka's newest ficlets. The rest was all Kid's idea. All I did was type and post what he said.

Oh, that place I had to be? That would be the heist Kid mentioned. Still at the site of it, actually.

Nakamori-keibu is yelling at me. Something about me 'aiding and abetting' Kid. Of course, I admit nothing and deny everything. He has no proof that I did anything to help Kid _during_ the heist. My voice coming out of their walkie-talkies could have been Kid just as much as it could have been me.

Now, getting Kid on a sugar high _before_ the heist is an entirely different story. They've never seen Kid on a sugar high, and won't have any idea that his having a three-second attention span wasn't because it's April Fool's Day. *evil grin*

Ah, Nakamori-keibu has realized that I wasn't listening...well, I think he has. He's moved on to ranting about "that #$RY%$#ing thief", Kid's "#%$#&^ #^%#%ed notes", and how this #&&^$%#*^$%$ 2#%^&%$&# 23^%%$!#$^$%!$ holdiay makes him so much worse in his pranks on the Task Force.

Should I tell him about the sugar high? Nah, that'd just get him back on my case, since there's no way for me to know about that unless I'm working with Kid.

This is actually really fun. I'm learning new swear words from the Keibu who has temporarily forgotten that he's in a French Maid outfit. I'm taking pictures. Blackmail is a wonderful thing.

Hakuba-kun is currently stuck with long tye-dyed hair. No, it isn't a wig. I have no idea how Kid managed it, but I wish I did.

Conan-kun is already out of his frilly pink dress and the curly blond wig, but the makeup is giving him issues. Kid found some way to waterproof it.

The Task Force....well, it would take to long to describe, it's different for each person. Though we have one who is apparantly convinced he's a chicken...when did Kid start doing hypnotism?

I really, _really_ should have brought my video camera. Video footage is better blackmail than photos. Need to remember that for next time.

See you all when I finally post the other ficlets I've got bouncing around on my computer.

~Kiritsu


	6. A Bored Kaitou Kid is NOT GOOD

Ok, this came about due to boredom and an icon that has Kid holding a sign that says 'Will pull any prank for your attention'

...actually, he might be right side up and holding the sign on its side if I pick 'up' by the direction of the bricks behind him...

Moving on.

Tai Kuroba, your review doesn't show your e-mail or I'd have sent this to you. But so's you know, Icka's fic is on her insanejournal (username-mischif). The one labeled 'Bait' is the one I was talking about.

Kaitou Kid: Can we get to the fic now?

Hakuba: Only after someone does the disclaimer.

Kaitou Kid: *smirk* Can _I_ do the disclaimer?

Hakuba, Conan, and Heiji: **_NO!_**

Kaitou Kid: Why not?

Kiritsu: They don't trust you to do it right.

Kaitou Kid: All I was going to say was that you don't own us. You sometimes wish you did, and after seeing this fic I would love it if you did just long enough to let me do this, but sadly that won't happen.

Kiritsu: Good Job.

Hakuba: ...you _let him_?

Kiritsu: Hakuba, shut up, or I'll let him get revenge before the next story starts.

_**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
**_

So Kid was bored.

Excruciatingly bored.

Keibu-san had started ignoring him, and wasn't even going to heists anymore!

This could NOT be allowed to continue. Keibu-san was extremely necessary to his plans.

Well, mostly necessary. Kid could have adjusted it for any of his Tantei's instead, but he prefered having the Keibu running the show.

So how was he going to get Keibu-san's attention if heists wouldn't do it anymore?

_(muahahahahahahahahahaaa)_

The next morning Nakamori-keibu found his office was neon pink, exept for a spot of white on his desk.

The white turned out to be a note.

_Dear Keibu-san,_

_Hope you like the new look!_

_Kaitou Kid_

"KIDDDDDDD!!!"

There was a puff of smoke.

"You bellowed, Keibu-san?"

"You-----Why?!"

"You were ignoring me!"

...was Kid pouting? Kid would say no, but it certainly sounded like it to Nakamori.

Then Kid smirked and held up a sign 'Will do anything for your attention'. Then he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"#!$##$&%!#%^#ING KID!"

_**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
**_

*snickers* Do I get too much enjoyment out of my character torture?

*ponders* Nah.

*goes back to laughing at their fate during the last two chapters*


End file.
